The stay in the hospital

When I got admitted my phone was taken away. I requested my dad to get the phone whenever he came to meet me though. I also requested him to call up my workplace and inform them that I would not be able to work for a few days.

I really didnt know what was wrong with me. I didnt even know how bad the ECG was. I was asked to take complete bed rest. There were wires all over my body. They were monitoring everything by the second. I had a few wires on my chest. I had something on my finger with which they were measuring something called the saturation.

Since I am used to sleeping sideways, and that was not possible here, I was not able to sleep well. It was funny. What I needed to do was sleep and I was so uncomfortable that I was not able to sleep well. I got a few winks though and woke up in the morning. Suddenly realised that I needed to pass motions. I requested myself to be unwired to be able to go to the toilet. I was told sternly that I could do so on the bed with the help of a ward boy but leaving the bed was not allowed. That was really scary. Not for the fact that I was not allowed to visit the toilet but the realisation that something might be so wrong with me that I was not supposed to leave the bed.

My dad came to meet during the visiting hours and as requested by me had carried my mobile phone. I logged into facebook and typed in a status message reflecting my state my mind. I was really feeling shackled and badly needed to communicate.

Well the doctors came and this was the first thing that I inquired with them. They told me that there was not much cause for worry and that they were observing me. Some tests had been conducted and they were only slightly abnormal (normal in case of chronic renal failure patients). I was mighty relieved. And went off to sleep. I realised I was not able to sleep due to the fear and stress and not anything else that I assumed.

I took complete rest for a couple of days and then they also conducted a couple of other tests that proved that my heart was indeed fine. It was just something temporary, maybe due to the hurt caused or maybe due to fatigue. It was stress all the way.

I was discharged within a couple of days after the 2D echo was normal. It was such a relief.

But I had something to think about. I had not completed the last trek I attempted. (Kohoj). I was also affected adversely by the behaviour of some people whom I had held dear and had trusted. I had started to think whether it is worthwhile trusting anyone at all.

My foundations were shaken.

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