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Saturday, 13 December 2008

Life has to go on

Today I heard another piece of news that has become quite common. On an average once every month or two I hear that someone I knew and was on dialysis is no more. Today also I heard this kind of news about someone who used to care a lot for me. Yes, I felt sad that the person is no more. At the same time there was a queer sense of relief that the person would no longer have to be with the ups and downs of being a patient on dialysis.

I know how it feels and despite me being very positive most of the times, even I have preferred secretly that it would be preferable to not exist at all rather than go through all this pain. Then again I put in that huge effort to pull myself out of the rut and get back into mode positive. All over again.

Its not easy.

I was trying to analyse what would it be that gives us that funny feeling in the belly when we hear such news.

Is it fear of death?
Is it the fear of loved ones having to bear with the grief of losing someone they loved?

Well when we are no more we would not have to see our loved ones grieving for us. While we are alive we can see the pain in their eyes. We can see them caring for us, worrying for us when we are not upto the mark. So for everyone else there is a mix of a little bit of ease and convenience but a whole lot of grief. And as we see in the real world, most of us are able to get over the grief as time passes.

We need to take life in our stride and move on.Life has to go on.

I guess then it would be the fear of death. What are we worried about. After dying we will not be around to feel anything. So while we exist isnt it folly to keep thinking of the inevitable and spoil the time that we have on our hands. Yes we can grieve for the departed soul for some time. And we are normally able to get over the grief as time passes.

We need to take life in our stride and move on. Life has to go on.

1 comment:

Kamal Shah said...

Hi Samiir,

I know exactly how you feel. I have been there myself many times. To us, death by any other cause does not matter as much as the death of someone on dialysis.

It is a grim reminder of the possibility for us too. Somehow, there is a feeling of commonality with anyone on dialysis. And when such a person dies, we have the 'funny feeling in the belly'.

I remember when I got to know about a friend Pavan Joshi's death - about 23 years old, on dialysis - I knew him as we went to the same unit and I chatted with him many times - I cried in my room. There was this huge burden on my chest when I heard about this.

Having said that, I totally agree with you that we should move on, life must go on. We should not think about it too much. Live life well as long as it lasts.

Proper attention to our health, keeping a positive attitude and doing things we like go a long way in giving us a fulfilling life.

Take care.
Kamal