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Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Deep Sea Anchors

In our lives we have anchors. We have a set of people whom we depend on and consider a part of us. These are the people you turn to when you really need to talk or really need to have an open discussion. We know that whatever the discussion the anchor would remain.

Thank God for such people. They could be immediate family, our close circle of friends, and definitely some with whom there are special relationships. These relationships are very special because they cant be given names. They are sublime. They go beyond the ordinary definition of brother and sister, man and wife, father and son. These along with your immediate family are the strongest anchors that connect us to the outside world.

Suddenly if it happens that this anchor is no where to be seen. It has disappeared and the person suddenly starts behaving as if we were never close friends, it raises a lot of questions as to the reasons for this sea change. It suddenly feels like you are all at sea with the vast ocean (beautiful in other times) out to engulf you. It is so scary.

We wish to have that anchor back. We wish to at least know what was the storm that suddenly made the anchor disappear from our lives. I for one am not able to comprehend what hit me. This feeling is very funny and it hurts.

As a patient on hemodialysis, it becomes difficult to control anxiety and hence erratic pressure levels and moods exist. But I guess anxiety and mood swings would happen to even normal human beings.

If the ground on which it was anchored was not firm it would not have lasted for the duration that it lasted. If there has been so much trust over the years that we used to share everything with each other, why this distance suddenly. If there is a problem there is a huge chance that the anchor that the friend is looking for could be provided by me. This I believe has happened on several occasions earlier.

I so hope and fervently pray that even if the anchor has to be away from my life, the disappearing act could be done in a more humane manner. After all some relationships that have stood the test of time cant just be disappearing in the deep sea.

I really wish that this anchor remains connected to me but have no clue on where it is heading. No clue whatsoever on what is the right approach.

As of now it looks like its just me and the deep blue sea.

1 comment:

Abhijit said...

what hit you man?

doing something earthshaking???